Monday, May 25, 2009

Meat

A few months back, I decided to try being a vegetarian for 30 days. I had myriad reasons for this undertaking, one of them being the simple question of whether or not I could pull it off. In short, I did.

I mentioned this 30-day commitment on the Facebook, and was frankly surprised at how many people became interested in my dietary habits. Vegetarians encouraged me, as did a few meat-eaters. Some folks made it clear that not eating meat endangered my manhood – as if my testicles would shrink to the size of raisins, my dick would fall off in the shower and I'd start wearing a frilly tutu if I didn't tear into hulking slabs of dead animal flesh. Mostly, people would just ask, “how is the vegetarian thing going?”

I fulfilled my thirty days. I felt good. However, I started wondering if I really felt good because of the lack of meat in my diet. Was it all psychological? Did I maybe just expect to feel better? I made the decision to resume my meat-eating ways for a while and do a little compare and contrast.

When I resumed eating meat I almost immediately felt a difference. I felt almost heavier...sluggish. I felt like I was weighed down. Physically, I just felt better when there was no meat in my diet. Case closed.

I spent a lot of time thinking of the reasons for and against not eating meat. Frankly, there aren't any logical reasons to go on eating it. Sure, it tastes good sometimes. There's no denying that. However, weighing the pros and cons, the cons won out in a landslide. I don't entirely subscribe to the “meat is murder” ideal. On one hand, I think that the killing and eating of animals is a part of the natural processes of nature. That being said, I think that human beings have a rare ability to make a decision on whether or not we want to consume other animals. I don't look at this decision as black and white, right and wrong. I don't think there's an easy answer to the question, or an easy resolution to the debate. You choose to eat meat, or not eat meat? That's your choice. It's not my place to judge. I think I focused more on the health benefits, as it's pretty clear that eating meat opens you up to a lot more health issues than forgoing it. Cholesterol. Fat. Carcinogens. Antibiotics. Hormones. Pick your poison – they're all in the mix.

To satisfy the curiosity of the surprising number of people who still ask, here's the decisions I've come to:

I'm no longer eating any chicken, beef, pork, etc. Having just read “Fast Food Nation”, I got a good, horrific look at how poultry and pork and beef make their way to the table. No thanks. Do yourself a favor and read the book. It will change the way you look at your meat, I can guarantee you that much. Last night at the wedding of my friends Theresa and Austin, I ate beef. That was the last piece I'll ever eat, and I ate that because they already paid for it and I didn't want it to go to waste.

In a vote for sheer selfishness, I'm going to continue to eat fish and seafood. I enjoy sushi and fish tacos, crab-dip and the occasional raw oysters too much to cut them from my diet completely. I'm going to enjoy these items sparingly. I'm going to do my best to eat fish that isn't harvested in an ecologically insensitive manner. Sure, it's going to take some extra work...but it's worth it to me.

To prove that I am not a complete selfish prick? No turkey with thanksgiving dinner. Trust me, this is a HUGE concession from me. My reasons? Look into the conditions turkeys live in before they're turned into dinner.

I don't consider myself a vegetarian, as I'm still eating some meat. I just choose not to eat some animals based on a plethora of personal views I have come to form over the course of this experiment.

So that's it. That's my decision. Thanks to the people that encouraged me. A different kind of thanks to the people who criticized my decision – I've forwarded your names so that Obama can put you on his secret, liberal watch-list. Take that, fuckers.